how i would narrate the Olympics
me: they're doing some athletic shit
killjoysout: u ok man u need 2 talk
stillslydgn: you got something on your butt my eyes
the difference between "gamer girls" and girls who...
gamer girl: omgggg modern warfare 4 lyfeee
girls who play video games: GOD DAMN IT MARIO. IS IT THAT FUCKING HARD TO STAY ON RAINBOW ROAD FOR MAYBE TEN SECONDS. OH MY FUCKING GOD PEACH YOU FUCKING WHORE. YOU REALLY HAD TO USE THE THUNDER CLOUD AND FUCKING SHRINK ME. REALLY. THIRD. I'M IN THIRD PLACE OH MY GOD YES THANK JESUS LORD ABOVE IN THE HEAVENS. FUCK. NO. I FELL OFF. I SWEAR TO GOD MARIO I'M GOING TO MURDER YOUR ITALIAN PLUMBER MOTHER FUCKING ASS. i hate my life.
according to USA Today, the average tumblr user spends 2.5 hours a month on tumblr
accio-my-childhood: theoldveins: hey let’s play whERE THE FUCK IS THE MUSIC COMING FROM
professormc-gonagall: professorgilderoy-lockhart: enemiesofthe-heir: thechamberofsecrets: has been opened shit don’t worry i got this no you don’t
dysenterygay: why is it that like 99.9% of girls look thin and cute in over sized shirts but i look like a beanbag
shadow-purple: asslenko: mormondad: obama would’ve jumped from that helicopter obama would’ve piloted that helicopter and crashed it into the olympic field, only to emerge proud and unscathed from the rubble as an eagle landed on his shoulder caw caw motherfucker
So I'm meeting Chris Colfer, right?
both of us: SMILES BRIGHTLY.
Me: Hi Darling!
Chris: Hi, how are you sweetie?
Me: I'm great! So quick story here.
Chris: *signing books, looks intrigued.*
Me: So I was in Clovis the other day, and the chimney kept rattling and making noises *he makes the most adorable confused face* And I get up, look in the fireplace, and found this for you. *hands him Hogwarts letter*
Chris: *gasps* Oh My God!!
Me: You better bring Brian along, because he also deserves it!
Chris: Oh my gosh this is like 11 years of waiting. Thank you so much!
Me: It's about time too! *laughs*
Chris: You know, I don't think they'll let me in though.
Me: The whole point of Hogwarts is that it's always there for you!
Chris: *laughs* It was nice meeting you darling!
Me: *shaking* Bye Chris!!!